


my heart is buried in venice

by spacedoutboi



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 03:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17675675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedoutboi/pseuds/spacedoutboi
Summary: Years had went by, yet Shaun felt like absolute shit. Grieving wasn't supposed to be easy, he knew that, but shouldn't he already feel better?Maybe. But he didn't. At all.





	my heart is buried in venice

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from a ricky montgomery song ^^ it reminds me a lot of desmond and shaun so i decided to write something about it. btw, this is probably ooc since i don't write fics often...oh, and also english isn't my first language! i got a friend who has it as his first language to check over my grammar though.

Years had went by, yet Shaun felt like absolute shit. Grieving wasn't supposed to be easy, he knew that, but shouldn't he already feel better? 

Maybe. But he didn't. At all. 

Each day without Desmond was a day without hearing his annoying voice and each night without Desmond was a quiet night. No late night conversations about random topics.

Shaun didn't knew when those nights began but he was glad they happened. Though, he would feel way better if they still happened.

He hated how long it took him to realize that he had feelings for Desmond and they never really talked about them. He found peace in stares that lasted more than they should, skin interacting with skin without really meaning to and that kind of things.

Until, that day came. The bloody day where Desmond died. In the last seconds he had before he died, Shaun ran to him and hugged him, Desmond kissing him shortly with his last breaths. 

The room was then filled with an awkward silence, Shaun held Desmond's cold body for maybe too long before letting it go and walking back to the group.

Yes, now the world was saved and they were still alive but the world's saviour was dead and probably no one who wasn't in that room would get to know his name. Desmond Miles sacrificed himself for the world when he was only 25 and Shaun Hastings couldn't handle it. 

Shaun submerged himself on his work, even if it was useless compared to his previous work, now he wasn't working with the brotherhood to save the world. Now he was just working to stay alive. In a world without Desmond. 

Of course, some interesting work came his way and he was still an important member of the brotherhood, but nothing could ever compared to those all nighters he had pulled over in Italy. He knew it was stupid to focus only in the past and not appreciate the fact that there was still a world going on and he was alive, but he couldn't help doing it anyways. 

At one point he thought of going to therapy but decided not to. It would put the brotherhood in danger and he wasn't ready to move on. Plus, being a British man, repressing feelings was normal. 

Sometimes, he would forget to eat or sleep and then he would see Desmond by his side. Probably calling him out for that behaviour and telling him to take a walk outside or look at the stars. Then he would proceed to do that, just this time by himself.

But even in those nights where he would see Desmond by his side, it wasn't the same. He wasn't there and he couldn't hold him in his arms and just, for once, speak about his feelings. 

That was what the thing he regretted most in his entire life; not telling Desmond before all of that shit even happened.

Maybe, if he did that they could be now living in a flat in Italy by themselves with a cat, or travelling all the time to help the brotherhood because that way they would still be together.

And, at the end of the day, that was the thing he wanted most in his life.


End file.
